mhmmm

In such a judging world
With beauty left untold
It’s hard to make a memory
With standards to uphold

Remembering the past
And feeling so withdrawn
Trying to relive the memories
And moments far foregone

Battling to stay afloat
In an endless war
Allows now time to hear the wind
To feel the sand upon the shore

If hearts were made unbreakable
Love would have no shame
So instead our hearts run wild
In a world we cannot tame

The biggest regrets in life
Are the risks you never take
So take with you the beauty
In every memory you make

This heart is up for breaking
At times it may be weak
But its time to seize the moment
For it’s true love that I seek

i'm not in jail!

but i might be soon.
so when i hit my ex boyfriend, he called the cops and i got arrested. i spent the night in jail and i have been out on bail. I went to my court date and they had not yet filed charges against me so i was let free.but i was warned that they had up to a year to file the charges. the next day i get the mail and there is a letter from the DA saying they have filed battery charges against me and have to appear in front of a judge. this sucks so much cuz i didn't do anything wrong. he hit me first and i'm the one up for battery. the whole court system is fucked up and i wish all this would just be over with =[

so, there is a really cute boy in this english class...

but too bad he'll never know it's him, since no boys read these blogs ;)

yes.

without you, i live it up a little more everyday. without you, i'm seeing myself so differently. i didn't wanna believe it then, but it all worked out in the end. when i watched you walk away, well i'd never thought i'd say, i'm fine without you! <3

songssss

"When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest

Leave out all the rest, don't be afraid
I've taken my beating, I've shared what I made
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect, but neither have you"

i absolutely love these lyrics. this is one of my favorite songs to put on repeat and just listen and zone out to. it really makes you question, "what do i leave behind when i'm gone"

"I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath"

this is my all time favorite worship song. i absolutely love my Lord and Savior and i love listen to the music that praises Him. this song makes me cry everytime i hear it because i know i've done some dumb things but Jesus is looking into my heart.

"I wanna love like Johnny and June,
Rings of fire burnin' with you,
I wanna walk the line,
Walk the line,
'Till the end of time,
I wanna love,
Love ya that much,
Cash it all in,
Give it all up,
When you're gone,
I wanna go too,
Like Johnny and June"

i want my love to be exactly like johnny and junes. this is also a song very close to me because a boyyyyy i have always been in love with and i sing this song together =D

so, i forgot what it was like to be single...

IT IS AMAZING!!!!! i was never able to do anything when i was with my controlling ex. now i can do anything. i partied with my friends all weekend! i was never even allowed to see my girl friends or have boys phone numbers! so this weekend i hung out with all those i haven't been allowed to see. i hella partied all weekend and i kisssssssssssed cuuuute boys and got butterflies!!!!!!! heh. its so exciting. i haven't had a better weekend in so long. i am now going on day four with no sleep at all. my best friend and i went to jackson, as well! it was so much fun. i won a lot of money but then i accidentally blew it. heh. i couldn't ask for better friends. =D i'm just so happy. i now see how stupid i was for being with him and falling for all his stupid shit! i am so glad to have my own life back and i couldn't ask for more!

so, i'm single. any prince charmings out there....(i also just got out of jail)

SO! listen to myyy day. so i was in town when someone tells my my boyfriend OF FOUR YEARS has had a girlfriend. i get her number call her and tell her to meet me at his work. she tells me that they had sex LAST NIGHT!!! we had sex THIS MORNING. So, God knows I could have some nasty std. ugh. so this means he has been lying to me for two weeks now. piece of shit. so i comfront him at his work and he gets in my face ans grabs me and goese to hit me and i'm yelling so he gets me to my breaking point and i punch him for doing what he did and hit him before he hit me. because he has a violent past. i mean, how fucked up could you get. he spits at me and pushes me and i slap him. big deal. his mommy calls the police and files domestic assault charges. so i got arrested at work and taken to jail. the people were hekka nice =] but i so don't like jail. the whole time all the police men, my bail-man, my co-workers, my family all said i did the right thing and he deserves more and they would have done the exact same thing, if not worse. i mean, how low can a boy go? to spit at a girl and push her. he has hit me so many times before. i never filed anything. no one believed that i was the one to end up in the jail cell. so stupid. i mean if you found out your boyfriend/girlfriend husband/wife was having sex with another person, you don't just walk away calmly...no. i hate him more than anything. and he will regret this and live with it for the rest of his life. me on the other hand, well, i'm moving on. i'm moving out with my friend. and i am going to find my real price charming.